When Do I Tell Her?

This is an excerpt from Jasan Zimmerman's piece in Cure magazine. Jasan is a 3-time survivor and on the Board of Advisors for Yoga Bear.

So, when should I tell a woman who I’m romantically interested in about my long, storied medical history? There’s no easy answer.

Everyone has some skeletons in the closet, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to expose them to someone when you first meet them. You’ll never hear me say, “Hi, I’m Jasan, and I’m a cancer survivor.” But when should the bombshell drop? There’s much more of an art to it.

If a woman opens up and shares some of her trials and tribulations, it makes it easier for me to share. But there’s no easy way to introduce the topic. I pay lots of attention to what she says to see if I can segue easily into my story.

My long-standing fear is that I’ll scare a woman away with the revelation about my medical history, so I’m sometimes more inclined to bring the subject up fairly early in the relationship, at least within the first month or so. That way, if it ends the relationship, it’s too early for me to get hurt as much.